the best is yet to come

i went to see Across the Universe this last weekend and it was AMAZING!


i really, really liked it.


that's all i've got for right now. you should all go see it (well, maybe not you, parents... you might not like it so much).

so hang me up to dry

there is a question that has been weighing heavily on my mind as of late...


who invented the "boo?"

i mean really, did someone just say one day, "hey, when something or someone displeases us, let's say 'boo.' that ought to get the point across."

thoughts?

goodnight moonlight ladies

fall has come to us again. there might not be anything better than fall in the pacific northwest. everything seems to come to life at the same time that things begin to die and go into a time of rest before they resurrect in the spring with bursts color. color... that might be my very favorite part of fall (aside from the rain, smells, cool air, and all the wonderful fall activities, of course). the reds, browns, yellows, oranges, and greens become even brighter together after they have been bathed with fresh rain. perhaps i just feel hopeful in this season because life always seems a little brighter. even as the days get shorter i find myself more and more excited about all the opporunities the night holds.
fall has only been here a short time, and still there are so many things i have done...

eating soup... so much soup, alone and with the best of friends

sitting in front of a fire all day long. i am not sure where i learned how to make such a great fire, but i really know how to make 'em (that's probably a thank-you-dad).

listening to music in a new way because music is just different in the fall.

watching dear movies with dear friends.

making new friends.

fall drinks at starbucks. and being able to make people's day with those drinks.

searching for my scarves and being pleasantly surprised to find them and remember that i gave most of them to people who desperately needed some warmth.

sleeping with three blankets on my bed (i love love love that).

lighting candles that smell like all the wonderful things about the "holiday season."

and i will be honest... fall television online. it's a wonderful thing.

trips into portland and time spent at church, in powells, and wandering around downtown.

positive memories at bridgeport!

i was driving home from work today and i so wished i had my camera with me because as i came around a corner that i come around nearly every day i was met with the most magnificent scene. the hills stood before me as though they had been waiting to put on a show for me all morning. the thick green that characterizes this particular part of the hills has been interrupted by red and orange and yellow, perfectly choreographed as though it had been practiced. they flashed bright in the wet morning rain, lit by sunshine peeking through beautiful foamy clouds. it was the best kind of interruption.

do you wanna dance?

there were moments of ridiculousness today. standing, twirling, skipping, jumping, giggling, yelling, sprawling, laughing, talking in the sunshine.

and it made think that maybe everything is going to be okay.

i tried to go to sleep last night but there was so much crap begging me to stay awake and go over it all again and again. finally i just asked god for one thing to go right. well, maybe it was more of a demand. and he did it, because today something went right. and then another thing went right. and then i almost got hit with a disc at the park. then there was more laughing.

sometimes things fall apart and your life seems like it might have lost its meaning for the time being. then you have to go for a drive and cry and yell and let it all out. then you realize that it really is god that you have been crying and yelling to. and he knows, he might even feel it to. but when you realize that you have nothing left to give, it's nice to have someone you know won't let you down. i know it's cliche but god is always going to create that safe place you need to talk things over. and then things will get better.

so last night was a 6, on my very special small group (or as i like to call it, free group therapy) scale. but today brought me back to a -3 and that is a very good thing.

makin' my way downtown

i was reminded to mexico today as i sat on the couch with annie, talking about how we were going to love on kids. for a moment we were silent and the only noise was the beautiful nighttime symphony being performed by the frogs. immediately i thought of mexico, and then home during the summer with the window open, and then summers at camp bradley. as i drove home tonight i kept thinking about mexico...

sleeping in an enormous tent that had been knocked over by a windstorm earlier in the day. sleeping in a much smaller tent with four of my greatest friends. sleeping in the attic during a great thunderstorm. sleeping in the crazy, stinky bus. sleeping in the attic again with my mom and a bunch of older women. oatmeal every morning for breakfast. walks to the store down the road for treats. the crazy mule in the field. flip-flops with socks because it was just so cold. water fights in the kitchen. tricks on the trampoline. pushing the kids on the swings. nicknaming lucy "baby godzilla." sorting beans. sweeping the hacienda. sitting on the porch railing watching the ever-changing sky. returning tons of rubbish to the dump, only to see it blow away the next day. switchfoot. filling in potholes with big rocks. laughing. crying. singing. journaling. spending time with beautiful sela. tearing up when sela responded to worship music and nothing else. beautiful mexican indian children. piggy-back rides. wishing i could stay forever.

then i smiled and thanked god for those eight short trips that instilled in me a passion for the "least of these" and traveling and learning that god does not see borders, languages, or heritage as barriers.

in our honesty, together we will rise

as a shout-out to my enormous secret fan base...

anonymous comments make me crazy!
i had a creepy blog-stalker over the summer.
please... help me sleep at night! leave your name (or at least a substantial clue).

thanks pals!

i've got soul but i'm not a soldier

blogging everyday just might not be a reality for me. i think that is okay. there has been a lot of time for me to think this week. it was one of those weeks when everything just needed to stop for a moment, when i needed to slow down and have time to sit and think. it was also one of those weeks in which sitting, thinking, stopping weren't really options. they just kind of fell into my lap with a very bittersweet "kerplunk," disturbing the seeming peace of my routine. and it was much more bitter than sweet. the weeks previous felt the same way, up and down, bitter and sweet all at the same time...

a couple of really good movies

an invitation to a slumber party
an invitation to a wedding
an invitation to a bridal shower

good conversations with good friends
a conversation with a guy that makes me crazy who views war as a good way to control the population

getting a new pet
losing that pet underneath the couch and spending twenty minutes freaking out
finding that pet and saying, "wally... don't scare mommy like that again"
(wallace is a hamster)

a sunday fiesta with old friends and new
laughing and talking with people in two languages

saying goodbye to my church home
saying hello to a new church home

making new, wonderful friends
saying goodbye to a friend

enjoying great chapels shared with people who care so much about the world that they cannot help but to share

sharing a bed with a best friend
spreading out in my giant bed all alone

laughing until i cry
crying until i laugh

sharing inside jokes and slapping a friend's knee
planning ppgp

a hug from irv

praying for friends
praying for people i don't know
just praying

reading good books that have nothing to do with school
realizing those books have everything to do with school
because school is life

there is more. but that is all i have for now.
thanks for the loving on the phone, parents.

leave that kind of legacy

i just discovered something terrible...

peyton manning is married.

sad day.

why don't the newscasters cry?

i would like to share with you all some more police reports from my homeland...

_juveniles threw snowballs at passing vehicles. a truck was dented. children were warned.

_children were sliding on a hill. it was reported at 2:44 on tuesday. an adult was supervising them and they were being careful.

_a large snowman was blocking the street. it was reported at 6:10. by the time an officer arrived, frosty was gone.

_four boys are suspected of repeatedly roughing up a snowman. police were able to reach at least one boy and advised him to apologize and stay off the property.

i have a dream to post everyday... we'll see how that goes. i'm not entirely sure that i will have daily blog-worthy items to share with whoever might stumble across this, but i sure will try. i'm pretty sure that only my mom will care... and maybe britt. that's okay! blogging is like free therapy. i'm out.

testing

i'm just testing a new blog layout... i promise a real post later!

amen omen

i feel as though i need to confess to the general public...

i reshelved my own periodicals today.

i am very sorry britt. i thought myself above the rules.

you got so much soul

i love the rain!!! i love walking in it, listening to it, driving in it, and watching it. i was driving through newberg this afternoon and i came across an enormous puddle at the bottom of a hill. there is nothing quite like being engulfed by puddle-spray on a beautiful afternoon.

i found something in a book today that made me laugh out loud. on occasion my mom sends me newspaper clippings from the police reports in the grants pass daily courier (thanks mom... always a pleasure). i just thought i would share them with you all. please note that i am quoting them directly...

"A tree was reported down... on Redwood Highway. One and a half lanes were blocked. Oregon State Police was called and advised to bring a chainsaw."

"Police had a stern talking-to with a 7-year-old boy at Lawnridge Park... A caller told police the boy had been on the roof of the restrooms playing catch with another boy on the ground. When police tracked the boy down, he was in the women's bathroom. The boy was warned to stay off the roof and to restrict himself to the men's bathroom. His mother was also contacted."

"A fight between a boyfriend and girlfriend... led to a serious case of hot dog misuse. The girlfriend said she threw the unsuspecting hot dog at her boyfriend, who then threw her out of the house. Neither person was arrested."

"A brother-sister squabble... escalated to the use of weapons. The 11-year-old sister allegedly pulled a knife. The 13-year-old brother allegedly pulled a broom. Both were taked to the Juvenile Justice Center for being beyond parental control."

"A rooster got out of its coop again... The feathered wanderer was considered a potential traffic hazard. Neighbors were feeding the bird, causing it to head over there for a snack. Its owner was advised about the breakout."

"Two people were cited on forgery and theft charges, after they repeatedly inserted and pulled out a bottle at a bottle return machine... They were nabbed trying to cash in a receipt for $3.30."

"O'Brien lost electrical power Thursday morning. A now deceased squirrel apparently got too close to the power lines or transformer to bllow out."

oh grants pass...

five card poker on saturday night

children are so beautiful.
halloween has been such an interesting holiday for me. when i was a child there was always a gathering at grandma and grandpa's. we dressed up... little red riding hood, laura ingalls wilder, princess, wind-up doll... so many fantastic, homemade costumes. then i reached the age when dressing up wasn't cool. then back again to costumes being cool. this is when i dressed up like a leper for the harvest party at church. looking back this was probably not the most caring or socially conscious thing i have ever been a part of.
last night... i dressed up like a fairy. i was thinking about dressing up as a "college student" because i was told i needed to dress up for work. my boss decided that might not fly, so i settled for a fairy.
but this is where the beautiful children come in. tiny little wolverines, princesses, pirates, fairies, various animals, and supermen with inflatable muscles. forty degrees is not optimal trick-or-treating weather and these were very cold children. but they were smiling. smiling, laughing, saying please and thank you.
when adults celebrate halloween, even young adults, it is an entirely different situation. no longer is dressing up about cute. it is now about sexy. what is it about costumes that cause people to lose their inhibitions? why is this so appealing? why can't we just be who we are, even if we don't really know who that is? why must there always be a mask? are we really just too afraid of who we really are? if there is no condemnation before christ then we are in no place to condemn one another.
let us take off the mask and be uninhibited with each other. let us be together, who we are. let us no longer depend on costumes to allow us to be ourselves. let us live together as jesus intended us to. let us figure out kingdom life together and live the incarnation of christ.

challenge what the future holds

how can you look at this and not just sigh contentedly?

always have to steal my kisses

i had a ten minute conversation about soup with someone at work yesterday. the only thing that came from this conversation was that i cemented my position as the "crazy one."


i can't help it... i love soup!

but now you have got indigestion

this post is for stace, per request

the following are things that give me hope for bridgeport:

i saw a man wandering around with a cup of coffee and no shoes.
i saw h. dave and melva brandt. h. dave was wearing a casual sweater.
jack johnson is playing over the loudspeakers.

dancing in september

it has been so long since i've blogged that i am almost nervous about starting up again. i actually have been emailing myself for the last couple of weeks with things that i ought to blog about... don't laugh, i'm not the only one who emails myself. but i will just start with today, since it's happening right now...

it's raining today and i couldn't be more happy! i love the rain... especially when it's on and off, downpouring one minute and calm the next. i love the smell and the crisp, cool air in the evenings. i love that when i go to bed, my pillow is cold. soup for lunch and warm oatmeal for breakfast. i found a picture today of a llama in the rain.

seeing this today is the only thing that could possibly make this day better.

now about work...

kids in pirate hats using the play structure as a pirate ship. loitering teenagers turning into incredible artists as they showcase their poi dancing. bernard asking me about half-licker brian (i might have told too many people about the wonder boy who can't clean a spoon). chatting with the woman who walks her dog through everyday. looking forward to the winter wonderland coming the day after thanksgiving.

school...

doing all of your homework and turning in papers on time is hard work. i am so tired from all the homework. working and living off-campus is an entirely different experience, and one that has me very tired out. it's hard sometimes to still be so passionate about this school and the students but be so removed. last year i really felt as though god had some things to say through me to the women and it was nice to have the authority that came with my position to speak into their lives. but this year i really don't know where to be involved or how i can continue to love on the girls and speak the truth of freedom into their lives. god and i have been doing some serious chatting about that. but this first month has been so enriching and i have just been so struck with the hunger and compassion and familial love on this campus. i also love brennan manning.

church...

i think i have a crush on a 3 year old. this little boy is seriously the most beautiful child i have ever seen! i can only pray that my children will be this beautiful. but he is so precious and he cracks me up when i get to work in the 3's room. a couple of weekends ago i worked a service and we had so many kids... it was chaos and i just had to laugh the whole time because the kids were out of control. running around the room, waving their arms, giggling and shouting, "we're having so much fun!" i was a little troubled during group time, though, when the leader talked about noah. the kids were not in a place where they could sit and listen, but she kept telling them to sit down and be quiet... for 10 minutes. i wanted to tell her that this was not the best time, but she is the leader of the room. but then she talked about how noah was a good man and i got to thinking... noah kind of screwed up in the end. god doesn't just love us for being good people. if that was the case i would be in a world of hurt. oh, curriculum for 3 year-olds. in the end i found a toy boat and had the kids pile all the plastic animals into it. great fun.

apartment...

so i have a little corner now where my air mattress lies. it is an interesting thing... sleeping on an air mattress for a prolonged period of time (mari is my hero). at first i wasn't sleeping too good, but now i am warming up to it. a couple of weekends ago we had a lazy day. i cannot even tell you how much i needed this. i slept on the couch the night before and woke up around 10. it was like heaven. then mari, melissa, and i hung out in our pajamas and watched cartoons. it was so nice... and so needed.

family...

i went to reno with my family this last weekend. here is how i will sum up the weekend... eating, playing mini golf, watching airplanes. we also watched the ducks game and grandpa cried because he was so happy. let me tell you... multiple heaters, in one hotel room, watching our favorite college football team beat a team they have never beat, playing a crazy game in the last ninety seconds, is an intense way to spend an afternoon. the air races were fantastic (as usual). my favorite plane didn't get to race but i made do with the thunderbirds. i used to really enjoy watching them, but had a hard time this year because they are so very much "the most capable and powerful force in the world." so much of proud to be an american. i just kept thinking about what our powerful force is inflicting on people all over the world. but enough about that.

probably the longest blog ever. thanks for reading... if you made it, give yourself a treat. listen to your favorite song. take a warm shower for no reason. bake banana bread. put your feet up on the table. have a good night.

you're the one i want to hear

i have recently been appreciating the benefits of being in full health. you see... when you are sick sick sick it is very easy to think about being well. i actually used an entire box of kleenex while on an airplane. poor woman sitting next to me. you know you're in trouble when you blow your nose and it wakes someone up. on a plane? yep, i was on an airplane on wednesday returning from a delightful trip with my family. we were in san diego from saturday to wednesday and i have decided that i just love san diego!

we did a little bit of this:

we saw a few of these:

it was such great fun! i would go on, and perhaps i will later tonight. but for now, i am going to head over to the school and visit some very busy people. school starts on monday. am i excited? yes, very much so! am i nervous? yes. there are a lot of people who don't know that i am coming back for another year. it might be rather awkward. but hey, that's my life!

suddenly i see

phrase to incorporate into everyday life:

"the bounce is gone from his bungee"

thank you wallace and gromit

her face is a map of the world

yesterday i saw a very small child lick his hands and then straighten his hair.

it was terribly funny.

i also ate some watermelon last night and giggled as the juice ran down my face.

i love summer