do you wanna dance?

there were moments of ridiculousness today. standing, twirling, skipping, jumping, giggling, yelling, sprawling, laughing, talking in the sunshine.

and it made think that maybe everything is going to be okay.

i tried to go to sleep last night but there was so much crap begging me to stay awake and go over it all again and again. finally i just asked god for one thing to go right. well, maybe it was more of a demand. and he did it, because today something went right. and then another thing went right. and then i almost got hit with a disc at the park. then there was more laughing.

sometimes things fall apart and your life seems like it might have lost its meaning for the time being. then you have to go for a drive and cry and yell and let it all out. then you realize that it really is god that you have been crying and yelling to. and he knows, he might even feel it to. but when you realize that you have nothing left to give, it's nice to have someone you know won't let you down. i know it's cliche but god is always going to create that safe place you need to talk things over. and then things will get better.

so last night was a 6, on my very special small group (or as i like to call it, free group therapy) scale. but today brought me back to a -3 and that is a very good thing.